The Punch Line

Waiting for the punchline...what a lovely idea. It's such a nice way to re-frame a less than lovely situation. 
Yes, back then it was hard. Lots of hard work with no payoff. Actually, the payoff was terrible. I'm still reaping the rewards of the year I taught science.  If you have not, please go back and read A Joke with no Punchline.  This will make a lot more sense...I'll wait.

Ready? Ok.

It's hard to imagine, but as bad as that year was, it got a lot worse.  (I lost 20 pounds) It also got better for a while. ( I gained it back) Good things were going to happen. I was going to be a part of the change. I was a leader. I went to Boston. I know you must be impressed. I was on the right side! We were going to win. I was going to win!

Everything was set. Plans were made. People were on board. Everything was approved. Then the guard changed, but we were not afraid. We had big promises. Summer came. A nice break. Everyone needs to blow off some steam. Let's forgive and forget and start again. I was optimistic. I was no longer waiting for the punchline. Things were looking up.  I was moving up. Everything I wanted was just over that next hill. I wasn't looking for a punchline, but it came.
Here it is, are you ready? I was removed. I was taken off the leadership team, and I didn't even know it. A friend asked why my name wasn't on the email inviting "Us" to a meeting. I was excluded. Uninvited to a party I helped plan.  Ha. Ha. Ha.

Oh, and we were running. That's right, running. When I finally heard the punchline, I was out running with a friend.  Ridiculous.

That hurt. Not funny. This thing that happened may sound like nothing, but it was a low blow for me.  Maybe it is ridiculous that it hurt so much. It's not that I've never had things taken away from me.  It's that I've never wanted something this much. I thought it was finally my turn.  Punchline.

Things have changed.  They continue to change weekly.  I've worked harder than I thought I could.  I finally feel like we are making some progress. I hope that I can continue to work and be successful in this place. I have a little more clout, but a long way to go. (That year in science hell really hurt my career.)

Knowledge:
Beware of people who aren't struggling. If you are one of them...have a nice fall.  I came from the top.  I failed. I'm learning and growing.
"I used to be afraid of failing at the things that really matter to me, but now I'm more afraid of succeeding at the things that don't matter." Bob Goff.  I read this quote Monday before going back to work after the Christmas. I laughed when I read it. I wondered if it would have had to same value if I had read it when my biggest problem was trying to get 7th graders to walk quietly down the hall.  Or if it would seem as important the day I walked out of a meeting because I felt attacked and I couldn't defend myself. Or when I cried in my classroom when they had that first meeting without me.  I know it would not be as powerful, or nearly as funny. I guess that's the real punchline.



Rest assured, I am a happy person.  Before writing this, I wrote a sappy journal entry about how much my husband loves me. (You'd hate it, so I won't bore you.)  This post has taken a very long time to write. Time does heal, and so does writing, crying, praying, and making jokes.


Optional Titles for this Post:
Crying in the Car and Other Things I Brag About
How I Applied for a Job at the Zoo.
Street Cred'
Being the Oldest (ha)
Losing it all again
Teacher of the Month (ha) October

MY Chili

My mother-in-law is visiting with us in Nashville this weekend. I truly enjoy when she visits; we have a great time together. 
When I came home from work today we were all discussing what to do for dinner. I suggested soup.  Chris, husband, recommended I make MY chili recipe. He "loved it last time!" 

Now Judy, mother-in-law, is a phenomenal cook. I cannot compete with her skills, and I would never try.  She is very kind though and often shares her kitchen with me. In fact, about a month ago she entered a chili cook-off at her church. She won first place.(See photo)

So, I am not a competitive person. I dislike when anyone wins a game because it means the game is over.  But Judy, she might be.
MY recipe? My recipe came from a Google search. I did nothing more than follow some guys Super Bowl Chili recipe. There is nothing of ownership there. In fact I didn't even pin it. So now I have to go to the browser history and try to find this recipe.
I tried to gracefully bow out of this Throw Down. I attempted to yield to her prize winning chili. Oh but Chris would have none of that. Because guys, he's proud of his wife, and let's face it men never realize what's bubbling under the surface. I'm trying to save us all from undue stress, but nooooooooo chance. 
So gracefully I say, "Well, if your mom wants to make her chili...." And she picks up with, "Yeah, I could make my chili if you want!" (Her chili actually is her chili, ownership and all!)  We are playing the same game. We are in the same mind. She wants to make Her Chili; I don't really want to compete with My Jeff's Super Bowl Chili. So I think we are in the clear. Then he says, "Oh but I want mom to try your chili to see if it's really good or if we just think it's good." 
I'm pretty sure there is some sort of sports ball metaphor that would fit lovely in to this situation, but I don't know one. All I know is I'm stuck. He is really the smartest in the group, since he's getting what he wants. So here we are waiting for My Jeff's Super Bowl chili.  Please know that he best part of all of this is while I am typing she is in the kitchen adding things to my chili.

 
I love my mother-in-law. Judy, if you read this, you know I adore you.

Whitfield County Context

Getting ready for work this morning, several things crossed my mind that I wanted to share. I tried to think of how and who to share it with. Email was too difficult; I didn't have all the right emails in all the right places. Text was too wordy. Facebook too silly.
So to Rebecca, Beth, Ashley, Rhonda, Harvey and anyone else who will:

There are several changes you will appreciate. When adults have experienced other adults in the wee small hours, on a daily basis, for too long, a certain understanding begins to form. I am not bragging!
I do not expect everyone to understand that I started wearing makeup everyday to work, because I don't leave home until 8.  I have about 50 extra bucks each month in my pocket because I don't drive across walnut avenue in the morning. I wake up without an alarm clock.
Of course I have not changed the frequency with which I wash my hair. Yes I still look like a confused English teacher when I am dressed, but that is because I am teaching science. Oh by the way, I am teaching science...Enjoy that!
Today I am wearing my Mustang Band Shirt to school. Yes I am a Red Hawk now. I know that if I were at the Brook today I couldn't wear this to school because you need a SHS shirt on Friday. Add to that the even more confusing notion that at heart I was a Greenwave for 9 years.

So who should I have shared wit? How do you relate such seemingly boring details with out boring people with the context?

How We Do

We've been know to turn the car around to pet a dog. Chris came home once in a panic begging me to jump in the car. We drove all around Renaissance Park looking for a dog that we wanted to pet. Before you judge, it's not just any dog it's a Newfoundland. They are beautiful and expensive and my favorite. Now you can judge.
We don't have one due to space and funding. Last night we discussed how fun it would be to rent one.    I recently revealed my lack of shame in stealing one. If the dog has a tag I'll post a found sign, but collar only....doubtful.

Why Don't We Do Crafts?

This took two people one hour.

Guess who carved 

which pumpkin?

The pumpkin on the left is a traditional Jack-o-Lantern. 

 The pumpkin on the right has a special look in his eye!

The Drive to Work

Guy skateboarding and talking on the phone in the bike lane.
Dad and son asleep in lawn chair waiting for school bus. (Four foot long stuffed lion in another  chair whether they are present or not)
Ben Folds look-a-like in a Subaru.
Group of  teens mimicking  a smoke stack around the corner from the highschool.
Three year old who has walked up to the front of the minivan, standing between the mom and dad chairs.
The one kid in highschool who wears the long black trench coat August-May.
Dogs and their runners.
Bus stop friends. People waiting for the city bus who appear to like the others at the stop.
Bus stop enemies. People waiting for the city bus who look angry with each other. They probably don't know how great it can be at the bus stop. They probably haven't been to the cool bus stop. Maybe I should drive them by the cooler stop so they can see what could be!
Or maybe they aren't morning people.

Bumper sticker, "East Nashville: We'll steal your heart and your lawn mower!"